Anyway. Working at an elementary school part of my job is one recess duty. It's one of the funnest parts of my day (well except for when it's raining or snowing. Really? Recess. Come on!). You would not beleive some of the things I get to see. Today a family friends little boy, who is in fourth grade, came up to me and we had a cute little chat. He told me all about his teacher that no one likes, but he does, and other things he really didn't like at school. Then, right before he was about to leave, he said "Wanna know the only reason I really like coming to school?" Well of course I did! He then proceeded to say "Because of that girl right there (as he pointed). I have a crush on her. She's so pretty." I then joked a little with him and then recess was over.
I remember a few of our lessons being on Childhood and Adolescent Sexuality. Being "new" to this Human Sexuality concept (well of couse i'm not "NEW" to it, but before the class i'd never taken the time to even think about a lot of these subjects. This is what i mean by "new".) this specific lesson was very interesting to me. It never occured to me to even think about the different things through out childhood that we go through pertaining to sexuality. Because of being in an elementary school I want to focus on the things we learned about that happen in the 6-12 years of age stage.
Do you remember your first crush? I sure do. I was the type of girl that grew up in a family where we played sports. Of couse i noticed those boys. Why? Because they were my competition in who was the fastest or best. You name it? Cute, now, was not something I even thought about. Not until i was in 5th grade. All of my girlfriends weren't very sportsy like me. Most had older sisters that they learned traits, pertaining to boys, from. Kevin Vincent was his name. EVERY girl who had her head on straight could CLEARLY see he was sooooooo HOT. When the whole Kevin shenanigans began i remember hardly being able to comprehend what they were talking about. Hot? What? He's really fast that's for sure! I haven't been able to beat him. Maybe thats what they meant? And then.... It was like a switch was switched on inside of me. Gosh, that bum-part hair do he had. That pretty cool. And oh his smile. When he smiled at me, or any girl in the school, it made all the other girls jealous, and not only that i felt so funny inside! This had to be the meaning of Hot. Right? After this incident my parents were doomed. From that time on I remember being very into boys. In my group of friends from about 8th grade on I was considered the "flirtatious" one. I parenthesize this only because to me it was "friendly" :D. I now watch the students I teacher and can't help but think something they experience in this stage will shape their sexuality in some way or another. Freud believed that children enter a period in childhood when sexual issues remain unimportant, most researchers disagree with that perspective, as do I.
What do you think?
Now, more importantly than just discussing what we go through at different stages in our life I think it was absolutely great that our teacher discussed with us what should and shouldn't be taught at different stages of childrens life, pertaining to sexuality.
Sex, in my home, was NOT discussed. If ,even somewhat, passionate kissing was on the TV the channel was changed. Now, before I go further let me just state a few things. I believe everyone has their choice to choose, regardless what you have been taught. Meaning, because my parents did not choose to discuss these issues in my house that was their choice for teaching their children about sexuality. That is perfectly fine. It was my choice, and mine alone, to choose some of the situations i did later in life because of what i understood, from what i was taught in my home, about sexuality. BUT I chose them. No one has the power to take away my choice. That has always been mine, and mine alone. I will NOT blame my choices on my parents choices on how to teach their children.
Do we have that right? To blame our parents because of their teaching styles? What do you think?
What do you think, from the ages of 5 to 12, should be taught about sexuality? I, clearly, have seen that it is already something they are starting to be aware of. So, as parents (when that gift is bestowed upon us), what do we need to make sure to discuss and make our children aware of, pertaining to sexuality, at such a young tender age?
Lots and lots more posts to come (I have 17 more to do before Saturday. Gosh i'm so expert at procrastination.)! Don't forget to come back and visit me!
If you see something, pertaining to human sexuality, that you want to mention or have me get posted so we can all (3 of us i think =D) talk about it, let me know! I'd love feedback!
Love,
♥Alex♥
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2 comments:
Okay, first...I think it completely depends on the child, their gender, and how they are raised as to what their view on sexuality will be. I have a friend with a 4 yr old that told her that she was only allowed to pick his wife for him if she picked someone with big boobs. (AT 4!) I think boys are more prone to being sexual beings and thinking about the opposite sex in "pleasurable" ways.
As for parents and putting blame...I think if parents don't teach their children what is right and wrong about sex and what it is then yes they are to blame. But as you stated, although you didn't talk about sex in your home they were teaching you that those things you saw on tv were not appropriate, therefore they were teaching you right and wrong. But if a child is taught and still decides to go against a parent's teaching then it is not the fault of the parent for choices the child has made.
Unfortunately in our day and age, kids are learning from each other about sexual issues at earlier ages. I remember my parents, taking the time when my mom was pregnant with Megan to, explain to us what sex was and how babies come about. Can you imagine that FHE? It is better to teach your kids, even if it is at a young age, in your home (a safe environment) where questions can be asked and they get the facts from adults, not other kids.
And that is my 2 cents.
this post made me laugh out loud... oh i remember kevin vincent. lol.
anyway.. in response to your questions, this is something that i have actually considered a lot from observing several types of attitudes toward teaching children about sexuality. in my opinion, i think the healthiest and most informed attitudes are born from a family that is open and honest about sex. i don't mean crude, detailed, or overly obsessed with sex.. i mean if it comes up, if their child has a question or says something about it, it is not ignored and they are not told to not talk about it. it is discussed in a realistic manner. i think when the topic is avoided, an unhealthy interest may develop but since it is not encouraged, the children will seek information from other sources (TV, friends) that are often incorrect or skewed.
phew. that was entirely too long. hope it helps!
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