So my thought for today comes from a, hmmm i don't even know how to put this, ironic/sad/creepy/you decide story. In my human sexuality class there is this boy. He is very akward to me. Not just awkward weird, but awkward creep me out awkward. Every since the beginning of class i've always told Nick there is something "off" about him. Nick agreed. Sometimes his girlfriend would come to class with him. The way he touched her made my skin crawl. Without fail he would always compliment our teacher every single class period. This wouldn't be extremely awkward as our teacher is a beautiful, intelligent, talented woman (brown nosing? Maybe. Telling the truth? Always.) BUT the way he went about it was, again, very different. Something about it made me cringe when he would open his mouth. Well I was laying in bed with my honey, me passed out (6:00am cheer practices do that to a girl) and him watching the news, and he all of a sudden starts yelling "Al, Al you've got to wak up! Look at this! Hurry, look!" I jump up, obviously startled, and try to orient myself. As soon as i can actually figure out where i'm even at Nick directs my attention to the TV. Lo and behold there is a picture on the news of a man who was charged with two sexual assaults on our very own Utah Valley University campus. Who you ask? You guessesed it. My classmate.
So with that i'm just going to pose some short quick questions:
How do we protect ourselves, and later in life our children, from these people that may seek to hurt them?
Why did I always feel so creeped out by him? Intuition? Or unfair judgement?
How do we "righteously" judge to protect ourselves and those we love?
Thank you for all who are participating in my homework with me! You're fantastic! Here are some statistics about sexual predators from my book to end this post:
"Why do people rape?
There are several theories as to why rape exists in our society. Feminists argue that the nature of the relationships between the sexes fosters rape. Others argues that it exists because of the rapist's psychopathology. Still others claim it is because of how women dress, act, or behave. Today most theorists agree that rape is a crime of power in which sex is used as a weapon."
There are several theories as to why rape exists in our society. Feminists argue that the nature of the relationships between the sexes fosters rape. Others argues that it exists because of the rapist's psychopathology. Still others claim it is because of how women dress, act, or behave. Today most theorists agree that rape is a crime of power in which sex is used as a weapon."
Sexuality Now: Embracing Diversity. Janell L. Carrol. pg. 479
What do you think?
What is Sexual Assault?
"Sexual Assault is defined as any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the consent of the recipient of the unwanted sexual activity.
Sexuality Now: Embracing Diversity. Janell L. Carrol pg. 480
Things that are included in sexual assault:
- Unwanted penetration
- Forced oral sex
- Masturbation
- Touching
- Fondiling
- Kissing
- Forcing someone to view sexually explicit materials, such as pornography.
Thank you again for all your help!
Loves,
♥Alex♥
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1 comments:
Hi Alex,
I'll attempt to tackle your questions that I feel qualified to answer.
1) How do we protect ourselves and our children? Sexual predators are predators. Think of a cat hunting a bird. They look for a target, they study, find the perfect moment, and then attack. A sexual predator is no different. They do not prey on the strong. They read body language. They find the weak, intimidated, and lonely (or alone), and pounce. As human animals, we're still tuned in to read body cues. We still understand the body language of a suggestive walk, a blush, shuffling feet and slumped shoulders, or straight posture and a firm handshake. All of those actions speak of intention, embarassment, low self confidence, and high self confidence. Sexual predators are keenly aware of those cues, and read them when choosing their prey. Sexual crimes are not about sex. They are about power.
Protecting ourselves and our children from predators is tricky. The old standbys of "never talk to strangers" and "if you're ever lost, find somebody who looks like a mommy or a grandma" are my keys. Never let my kids out of my sight. If it feels wierd, leave. If you feel uncomfortable, leave. Have the confidence to leave.
I don't believe in "rightous" judgement. I believe in intuition. I was a bartender and waitress for over a decade, and there's this line in "Thelma and Louise" that has been a sort of mantra to me. The cocktail waitress says, "If bein' a waitress in a nightclub don't make you an expert in human nature, nothin' will." I learned to read people in the way they opened the door to the restaurant. And I can count the number of times I was wrong on one hand. People tell you everything with their actions, and sometimes their words mean nothing.
No righteous judgement. Use your intuition. Better to be wrong, rude, and alive than right, courteous, and dead.
I sound like a pretty hardened soul, but I'm not. I wish there was a better way to pass this knowledge to my kids, but there isn't. I teach them to trust themselves. My daughter does not like being around groups of roughhousing boys (she was 2 when I noticed that). She doesn't like being around aggressive kids or kids who throw things. That gives me hope. Even at this young age, she can read signs and knows to pull herself out of potentially unsafe situations. I try to encourage that, giving her confidence in her decision-making skills. Hopefully, she will grow into a confident young person, and then a confident adult. With luck and the grace of God, she will not be easy prey. My son is 1. I plan on maintaining the same course of action for him, as well as teaching him compassion and non-agression, and to be confident as a non-agressor.
That's my spiel. Again, thank you for giving me something to think about.
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